Two Things On My Mind

1. Bullies really are cowards underneath it all. I've actually always known that, but it just keeps getting confirmed. Bullies run in packs because they are terrified of standing up for themselves. They lack self-confidence and self-reliance. They also prefer to keep their bad behavior a secret. Because, knowing that their behavior is wrong, they hope to hide their flaws. They abhor direct confrontation because that is how weaknesses get uncovered. Guess that's why bullies have always had a problem with me. My honesty, my transparency, and my genuine affection for myself (including all my flaws and foibles) is just too much for them. I'm like an alien to them. But it's always worth a good laugh to see them slink away when I call them out. Seriously, it's fucking hilarious.
2. As I might have mentioned elsewhere, I spent last evening escaping from all the madness of the real world by pouring a nice glass of Clos du Bois Merlot, rolling a skinny one, and filling my tub with some hot water and Lush bubbles. I relaxed there for about an hour, listening to music (new Nine Inch Nails!!!!!!) and letting my thoughts bounce where they would. I mused a bit about the Bully Girlz and then thought back to how things never change. It's all so reminiscent of my high school days and how the "popular girls" (or, at least, they thought they were) always did the exact same thing. And how it was never the boys. Ever. In general, other women have never liked me. Especially when they run in packs. And forty years later, it's still true. Unfuckingbelievable. I suspected as a teenager and I'm quite confident now that it's all about jealousy. I'm not sure why anyone would be jealous of me, but I continue not to care, just as I did in high school.
3. Now, what I do care about are all those lovely boys. And men. And what bright spots they are in my life, all through my life. And I began thinking about all the wonderful males I've been lucky enough to have pass through my life. And, since I've been rather lax about blogging or writing, I've set myself a project. I plan to begin writing a multi-part series of the men in my life and their effect on me. I have at least three parts planned (and may come up with more as I go). For now, they include family/significant adult males, male friends of my early years, and lovers who have impacted the woman I am. Stay tuned. I hope to get the first one up in the next week or two.